Coping With Success
Coping With Success

Project Name: Coping With Success
Genre: Comedy
Run Time: 13:18
Written By: Deirdre McCullagh, Andy Sylvester, Cassia Rainne, Matt Sylvester
Directed By: Matt & Andy Sylvester
Capture Format: Sony EX-3
YouTube: Coping With Success

Logline

During a therapy session where four odd, socially-clueless characters learn how to cope with their supposed success, we learn about their ridiculous achievements, abnormal personalities, and meet a therapist inches away from cracking up over dealing with these wackos.

Synopsis

Success stress has got them down", so says JOANIE, a pageant queen, author, motivational speaker, and pixie-stix addict. Joanie's turn to talk to the therapy group starts with a brainless smile and ends with crocodile tears after discovering the session isn't being broadcast for TV. In a candid interview, Joanie relates her disgust over having to motivate people, how her career led her down the nefarious path of snorting sugar and candy, and that her fear of success is so all encompassing even the color green scares her. When she blows her nose and discovers green snot, Joanie freaks out and flops to the floor.

GULLET, a cynical, arrogant, self-aggrandized competitive eater, five time DinnerLympics "Super" gold medalist and reigning Flapjack King dishes out verbal abuse, disdain, and poisonous egotism to the "losers" in the group before offering a sarcastic apology and making fun of Therapist's clothes. Gullet looks back on his early days, when he idolized Beer Fart Flanagan, and laments that people don't want to get close to him. Gullet's interview reveals the head-scratching (i.e. idiotic) reasons why he is in therapy and the keys to his success as a competitive eater: chewing, swallowing, and not barfing.

ADINA, a.k.a DJ Shocker, a rapper with perplexing fixations on being black (although her skin tone says otherwise), hating flip flops, baseball caps, and fake-ass tans, and using her "rhymes" to express herself, has been forced into therapy as a stipulation of her contract with a record label. After her popularity blew up on-line, the pressure of success began to mount, with all kinds of people flocking to her African Studies class, including Walmart store clerks, regulars at the Waffle House, and the Trailer Park Pinheads (that's a gang).

MARCEL, a slimy, shady man dressed in clothes from Goodwill speaks to the group about the financial strain that has resulted from his overnight success (in North Korea) as the inventor of canine penis pills. Since getting a hooker pregnant, 49% of his income goes to his ex-wife, 49% to a pimp named Blowfly, leaving 2% for him to starve on. In his candid interview, Marcel is assured that no filming will be done at his house, which makes him happy as his backyard smells kind of "dead-hooker-ish". The interview ends with Marcel requesting that the interviewer edit out the footage we've just seen.

After the Coping with Success group therapy session closes, we find Therapist in a therapy session of his own - joining Anger Management Guy, a bitter, volatile man who solves his patients' problems by beating them up in the parking lot, and Sex Therapist, a calm, professional woman who has to endure listening to a 60 year old man discussing sexual gratification from inserting hard boiled eggs up his posterior. When time is up, the three walk out while talking about what they are doing that evening. Sex Therapist is avoiding the egg aisle at the supermarket, while Therapist and Anger Management Guy are doing a little browsing at the Sex Addicts support group.